Funny College Application Essays

Funny College Application EssaysIf you have been accepted to a college but are not sure what to write in your college application essays, then this article will help you. This article is going to give you a few ideas on how to write the funniest college application essays.One of the best ways to make your college application essays funny is to keep it simple. One of the things that people get very stressed about when they are writing their college application essays is the fact that they need to present themselves in the best light possible. Many times you have to do this through the use of humor. Here are some tips for you.One of the things that you want to do if you want to make your college application essays funnier is to avoid using wordy language. Using too much jargon can make it seem like you are not well educated at all. If you are writing the essay as a way to get into college, then you need to avoid using too much jargon.Another thing that you want to do to make your colle ge application essays more interesting is to be a little bit clever. You want to avoid writing things that can be found in a high school English class as it will make you look like you have not done your research. You want to come across as knowledgeable but you do not want to overuse this.One of the best ways to make your college application essays more interesting is to take something about yourself and turn it into a joke. You want to avoid taking something like your family background and putting it in a high school debate. Instead, you want to use in your family history and bring it back to the present.Another way to make your college application essays more interesting is to use an amusing anecdote. Have you ever seen a movie where there is a character who starts off making fun of someone's background and then turns it into a joke? Use this approach to make your college application essays interesting.The last tip for making your college application essays more funny is to put i n a lot of humorous references and an interesting one liners. You want to use words that have either negative or positive connotations and make it sound as if it is a real life situation. You want to make sure that you use all of these tips and you will be able to make sure that your college application essays are funnier than ever.These are just a few tips that you will want to keep in mind if you want to make your college application essays more interesting. They can make you look more serious and it will make it easy for colleges to see that you have some common sense.

Accommodation Problems Faced by Foreign Students in Britain/US/Australia Argumentative Essay

Accommodation Problems I Faced When Studying in USA As any other foreign culture, the American one differs from the environment I am used to at home. First of all, I’d like to mention I’d never shared my space before, even though I understand it is my personal problem. At the dormitory we live in, this problem is easily solved by giving students a choice whether to rent single or double room. Of course, the price for a single room is higher, but in this question your comfort is at stake. Among the other problems I faced was location of our dorm outside the campus, which made everyday way to school very complicated. With changing two buses, the road took me up to an hour and a half each way. When I tried to manage this by renting a car, I faced another issue. It appeared that my student visa didn’t give me the right to get car insurance, which is obligatory to buy when you rent a car. Obviously, I couldn’t change my visa status, so my solution of the problem was to buy a bicycle. In that way I combined traveling to school and working out. The biggest complicacy was that my visa status didn’t let me obtain a tax payer ID that made it impossible for me to do things that, to my mind, are part of everyone’s daily life. For example, I could not open a bank account, get a local ID, except for the student’s one, which was invalid outside the campus anyway. Generally speaking, I could not discover local life outside the study hall. That is a major disadvantage of the student exchange program I became a member of. If I had to make any recommendations on what should be changed to help students, I’d definitely stress on the aforementioned problems being solved first and foremost.

How to Prevent Repetitive Stress Injuries to Your Wrist

Kaylee Rosales. Mrs.Kline. Honors English 10. 6 April,

Kaylee Rosales Mrs.Kline Honors English 10 6 April, 2017 Title The Drug War has been a policy and a battle to stop drug flow into the U.S, cease drug production and to completely illuminate drugs entirely but results have shown otherwise. In 1971, President Richard Nixon first declared the Drug war and classified drugs as a number one public enemy shortly after drug use hit its peak in the 1960’s. The U.S previously had anti-drug laws but the laws were light and directed mainly to minorities. The following President Jimmy Carter believed in decriminalizing Marijuana and certain portions of Marijuana were legal to possess during his term but the legalization was shortly lived. A new attempted solution was a program Nancy Reagan, President†¦show more content†¦On estimate 1 out of every 111 adults will be arrested for drug charges. Out of males that have been imprisoned 57% were black or latino which feeds into the common argument that the Drug War causes a racial divide. Throughout the countless years of battling the number of ca sualties of both races have been expanding and on average over the past seven years. 165,000 documented homicides have occurred in Mexico alone, due to drug war violence. Not only has the Drug War cost billions, imprisoned millions and killed thousands and continues to do so daily. Critics argue that legalization of certain drugs will not end the drug war and that instead, it will cause more violence and issues for the county’s well being. In the mid-1980’s the cocaine epidemic hit and a large amount of crime, deaths from overdoses and violence came with it. The result of this was laws being placed with minimum punishment for drug trafficking to attempt to control the issue. Throughout the early 1990s crime started to slowly decrease and in 2013 the amount of crime was reduced in half. One viewpoint is that once the title of being non-violent labeled drug traffickers crime started to rise anew. Some crimes included murders of innocent bystanders and more drug flow into the U.S (Cook1). William J. Bennett and John P. Walters, Boston Globe writers, complicate matters further when they write â€Å"For 25 years before President Obama, U.S policy confronted drug

Origins of the American Civil War free essay sample

Do you think there could have been another way to protect the institution of slavery instead of causing war? The Civil War began when the Confederates threatened and attacked the Union soldiers at Fort Sumter, South Carolina on April 12, 1861. The Civil War wasnt necessary for many reasons, there was a peaceful way out, there were many other ways to solve slavery, and young innocent people were dying. There were many different ways to solve slavery that was not the civil war. The slave south could have accepted the fair election of Abraham Lincoln. The free states could have accepted slave codes for the territories. The other measures demanded the protection and expansion of slavery. The north abolitionists could have found ways to help the slaves. The northern states wanted slavery abolished, meanwhile the Southern states wanted to continue. Politics were playing a sneaky role in the Civil War, but without the catalytic part that politics played, the Civil War could have never happened. We will write a custom essay sample on Origins of the American Civil War or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Abraham Lincoln took a strong position, that states would have no right to quit from the Union. He believed it was his responsibility as President to apply the laws that would keep the states in the Union even against their will as expressed by democratic conventions and state legislatures. His policy is ironic and even hypocritical because this position causes serious problems with Lincoln’s own doctrine of the right of revolution that he expressed in Congress on January 12, 1848, during the Mexican War. If there was no war, the northern abolitionists could have sought ways to help the slaves in the South, and most likely the Fugitive Slave Law would not have been applied. If all the slave states seceded, then the slaves could have run away to the northern states. Lincoln had allowed the South to secede. In the 19th century, most nations in the world abolished slavery by peaceful means. The British freed all the captured slaves in their empire in about six years and ending it in mid 1840. Most Latin American nations let free all their slaves between 1813 and 1854, and they slowly freed of slaves in Brazil which was completed in 1888.To some the Civil war was necessary, they needIn conclusion, there were many other safe ways to solve the Civil War, but sadly the war was chosen, many innocent people trying to prove that slavery wasnt a right thing ended up dead more than 620 thousand men dead or were blinded, crippled, disfigured, and others with deadly injuries. Towns and homes had been burned, railroads had been torn up, farm and crops were destroyed, and forests had been severely damaged, but gladly it ended slavery for good.

Bill Bowerman Essay Example

Bill Bowerman Essay In 1962 Bill Bowerman, the legendary University of Oregon track field coach, and Phil Knight, a University of Oregon business student and middle-distance runner, struck up a partnership to form a company called Blue Ribbon Sports (BRS). BRS imported shoes from Japan to the USA. First-year sales totalled $8,000, and in 1972 BRS changed its name to Nike, named for the Greek winged goddess of victory, and so began the birth of one of the modern worlds biggest and most famous companies. Nike employs 22,000 people worldwide, from Nike World Headquarters in Oregon and Nike European Headquarters in Hilversum, The Netherlands, to nearly every region around the globe, including Asia Pacific, the Americas, and Europe, Middle East and Africa. This includes manufacturers, shippers, retailers and service providers, and nearly 1 million people help to bring Nike to athletes and the public around the globe. Its this sheer scale and variety of operating bases that makes Nike a TNC, and a rather large one at that. Nikes main headquarters is in Portland, Oregon, USA. Yet very little, if any, of Nikes trainers and apparel are manufactured in the USA. Nike, like many large companies, has moved its production into areas of the world that are cheaper, in an effort to reduce manufacturing costs and therefore maximising profit margins. We will write a custom essay sample on Bill Bowerman specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Bill Bowerman specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Bill Bowerman specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer Nikes HQ, based in an MEDC, is the centre for all Nikes research and development. In an MEDC the best, most intelligent, experienced and well-educated workers are available for Nikes development program. Being in a rich country also gives access to the latest in technological equipment and research techniques. This allows Nike to stay at the forefront of shoe and sportswear technology, developing shoe technology such as Max Air, Zoom Air, Tuned Air, Shox, as well as clothing technology and fabrics such as Dri-FIT, Clima-FIT, Therma-FIT and Storm-FIT. The increases in technology and innovation mean Nike keeps ahead of its biggest competitors both on the running track and the high street. MEDCs such as the USA and Europe are also Nikes biggest selling grounds, and keeping the HQ in these countries results in closer company-customer relations Nike can see what the consumer wants and needs, and alter its product line-up accordingly. Nike has an established market in the USA, and people like the idea that its a local American company, despite the fact that youll rarely if ever find a Nike product made in the USA. Nikes main production centres are in the far-eastern areas of the world, but in reality Nike would set up their production centres in the cheapest area possible, no matter where it was in the world. Communication and transport have improved so much in the 21st century that its financially cheaper to do this than to keep all your manufacturing and development together. The Internet, e-mail, telephones and fax machines mean that controlling production and retail centres from the HQ is cheap and easy. Cheap carrier ships and airlines means that no matter where in the world a product is made, it can be in a shop on the other side of the world within days. It started in the 1970s when Nike moved its production sites to South Korea and Taiwan. At the time these areas were desperately trying to develop further, and had welcoming governments and space for facilities. Above all they offered the cheapest labour available at the time. So Nike moved in, reducing their production costs vastly, and maximising profits. As TNCs move into these MEDCs they bring with them huge amounts of jobs, money and support industry. This results in these countries becoming more and more developed until they become NICs. Education, healthcare and living conditions will all improve. This is a tremendous benefit to the country in question, however this means that eventually the workers will demand more and more money to do the same job, bad news for Nike. Nike began to sense this back at their HQ and decided to move there main production factories into less developed areas, for the same reasons they moved into Korea and Taiwan in the first places. This is referre d to as Nomadic behaviour, and makes pretty good business sense really. So in the 80s and 90s they moved to China and Indonesia, where labour was cheap and governments keen (or gullible depending on your point of view). These are still Nikes main production bases today, but one day they will become ever-more developed, and Nike will predictably move out again, to somewhere cheaper and less developed (Afghanistan maybe?!) Nike now runs two main types of factory. It still owns the premises in the now developing areas of Taiwan and South Korea, and these produce Nikes high quality, statement products (they produce between 10,000 and 25,000 pairs of shoes a day.) While the newer, cheaper centres in China and Indonesia are Nikes bulk producers, producing well in excess of 70,000 pairs of trainers a day. The other reason Nike likes to have multiple production sites is to avoid trade barriers and tariffs. The best example of this with Nike is their factory in Greece. Greece is within the EU, and therefore Nike technically produces within the EU, preventing any sales quotas or taxes that could be imposed if they just imported all of their produce. Nike also has a secondary HQ within Europe. This is the HQ for all operations in Europe, the Middle East and Africa (shortened to Nikes EMEA HQ). The EMEA HQ is based in a state-of-the-art complex designed by William McDonough and Partners, opened in 1999 in Hilversum, The Netherlands. This allows Nike to change the specification of certain products and lines to fit specific needs within this area. For example in America people may have, on average, wider feet, while in Europe they may have thinner feet. Having two HQs and R;D centres means that Nike can tailor its products more to its consumers, hopefully increasing customer satisfaction and therefore sales. So weve established that, in terms of production, Nike is a global company, but it is just as important to realise that Nike is also one of the most global and universal brands in terms of sales and marketing. Nike sells its products in virtually every country in the world, an almost perfect example of globalisation. There is rarely a place on the planet where there isnt Nike produce available and where Nike products cant be found on any of its inhabitants. The Antarctic might have been an exception until recently, when they invented their Therma-FIT fabric for base layers and fleeces for outdoor explorers. Nike sells and markets its products in similar way throughout the world. Like most companies they use classic techniques such as television, radio, and billboard advertising, but Nike exploits one area more than virtually any other company on earth, sponsorship and role models. The formula is simple: pay a well-known sports celebrity or role model to wear your produce, or sponsor a popular team in a sport. Whenever people see the star or team in question they see the brand and associate it with the company. It enforces the if its good enough for you its good enough for me attitude and this endorsement strategy works wonders for Nike. The most famous of all Nike patrons is Michael Jordan, the worlds most famous basketball player, and he even had a range of Nike produce named after him. Other famous individuals include football players Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Eric Cantona, basket-ballers Kobe Byant and Michael Jordan, golfer Tiger Woods and runners Paula Radcliffe and Maurice Green. In fact Nike sponsors individual sportsmen and women in just about ever sport imaginable. They also make the official kits of many major teams such as Manchester United, Arsenal, the England and South African Rugby squads and many of the major American basketball and ice hockey teams. In fact, as with individuals, they sponsor or make kit for just about every sport imaginable, from socks to sunglasses, from trainers to t-shirts, on every continent. This method of marketing is, on the whole, very successful (if a tad expensive). However if a sportsman, woman or team that Nike sponsor performs poorly then it can all go horribly wrong, reflecting badly on Nikes company image. Nikes reputation is usually one of the highest quality and latest technology, being the best of the best, but all it take is a couple of high-profile slip-ups for this outstanding public image to be destroyed. When Tiger Woods emerged as one of the worlds brightest young stars Nike were quick to pay him huge amounts of money, and within months he was seen wearing Nike t-shirts, caps, sunglasses, jumpers, trousers, socks, golf-shoes, probably even underwear, while in the public eye. The man was a walking swoosh, and he was even playing with Nike golf clubs. Nike isnt seen as a classic golf club brand, like Titelist or Slazenger, but it pinned its hopes or Tiger Woods raising the reputation. Unfortunately for Nike, since he started playing with their clubs he h asnt won a single thing, and after a big tournament publicly destroyed his set of clubs. Whether it was Nikes clubs or Woods form that failed, it still reflected badly on Nike, so although Nikes form of marketing and advertising can work exceedingly well, it can also have some major drawbacks. So who are the major parties affected by Nikes often controversial business strategy? This can effectively be split into 3 groups: Consumers are subject to huge mark up prices, but are aware that they are getting a high quality, world famous product at the forefront of modern technology. They are happy in the fact that by wearing Nike clothes they are in someway closer to there sporting idols, and know that wherever in the world they are going to come across Nike products. They have huge brand confidence in Nike. The consumers are the main player in any business, without them Nike would not exist. Consumers can influence TNCs because they are so necessary to the company, what they require Nike must give them, or risk losing consumer confidence. Workers Many would say workers, especially in the poorer countries, are over worked and underpaid, treated misfairly and taken advantage of. However at the end of the day Nike is providing them with a job that they would otherwise not have, isnt it better to be paid 5p an hour than nothing at all? Unfairness in woman and child labour needs to be addressed, but at the end of the day Nikes strategy has its upsides for the workers, the consumer and the company. The real downside is that by moving production overseas, Nike is taking jobs away from its home country, the USA. There are often huge protests in Oregon by the large numbers of unemployed about the lack of jobs provided by Nike, but the question has to be asked if they really want the jobs or if the people are just so desperate for money that they would do anything. If the people dont really want the jobs, then work rates and quality may not be as high as required. Workers can also influence TNCs. If there are large presences o f keen workers, prepared to work for a fairly low amount of pay, then that could be a major attraction to a TNC. Countries/Governments The LEDCs into which Nike moves production are being assisted greatly by Nikes provision of money and jobs, and as was seen in South Korea and Taiwan, the effects can be colossal, turning them from LEDCs into NICs in a relatively short space of time. They can influence the movement of TNCs by providing grants and opportunities to avoid barriers or tariffs. Conclusions Nike is one of the worlds largest, most successful companies and they have achieved this through a ruthless business strategy, featuring nomadic manufacturing plants and hard-hitting expensive marketing techniques. At the end of the day Nike are prepared to do anything to maximise their sales and their profit margins, and its this hard-nosed, forward facing way of thinking that has worked so well for them.

Analytical Essay Sample on “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka

Analytical Essay Sample on â€Å"The Metamorphosis† by Franz Kafka In the Franz Kafka’s â€Å"The Metamorphosis† Gregor the main character goes through a series of mental changes, that symbolize how alienated he becomes from the humans of the modern world. Through the metamorphosis Gregor becomes more aware of what he wants and what he needs instead of what he needs to do for other.The metamorphosis also symbolizes the mental change Gregor goes through, as by not acting as much as a human than what he did before. Gregor’s radical change of mind is boosted by the events that take place about all the lies that he was told about his family’s financial problems. Thus causing a loss of caring for his family and a feeling of individuality. Which all start to alienate him from his family and the rest of human society.Through the metamorphosis Gregor becomes more aware of what he needs and not what others need him to do. Throughout most of the story Gregor lives a life of serving and not receiving anything for his troubles. A lif e of servitude caused by his family who becomes in debt because of bad economic decisions. Gregor is asked to help but he feels that it is his responsibility to pay the debt his family has and his father decide to take advantage of this. Gregor hated his job, â€Å"Oh God, he thought, what a grueling job I’ve picked. Day in day out on the road. The torture of traveling worrying about changing trains and eating miserable food (1157)†. But because of the responsibility he felt towards his family he would endure it. He realized how he was treated â€Å" he was a tool of his boss without brain or a backbone (1161) † and yet said nothing and just would take it as if he where actually an insect working for the queen with out saying anything. He could see and knew that he could leave his job and that his family and his boss poorly treated him. While working he would see other salesmen and see how easy their jobs where compared to his. Slowly but surely Gregor becomes aware on how he not cared for or not taken into consideration what he needs more than others.Gregors metamorphosis symbolizes how he becomes less human day after day, ignoring his needs to becoming a person who simply does not care anymore. In the beginning of the story Gregor wakes in the morning complaining to himself that he needs more sleep. â€Å" This getting up so early thought makes anyone a complete idiot (1157)†. Through this quote Gregor demonstrates how uneasy he is with his daily routine.As well as how he wants it all to change but yet does nothing about it. He compares himself with other salesmen who a just starting to have their breakfast, when he is returning to do a check in. Gregor sees how well of he could be but ignores his feeling to appease with his family. Gregor begins to speak to himself about leaving and doing what he wants but just ignores the feeling and the desire to do off with the job that he hates so much.  "Well I havent given up hope completely, once I’ve gotten the money to pay of f my parents debt to him, that will probably take another five or six years. (1157)†. Through this quote Gregor talks about leaving the job and doing off with his mean boss. He knows that his job is doing him bad and needs to get another, but feels the need to help his family more than help himself. Towards the end of the novella Gregor begins to ignore his needs and go on with life till he sort of has a mental breakdown, in which he believes that he is a bug. And he begins to act like one. Gregor goes through the change of caring about things to not caring what he needs. This changes him drastically. Gregor metamorphosis symbolizes another change in which he becomes more distant from his family through discovering all the lies that his family had told him about not having any money. The reason he worked so hard and it was all for a lie, when his family did have money all saved up, just that t hey wanted more. He becomes les human like and decides to keep to himself because he is probably really hurt. The change the change that he goes threw in the metamorphosis change is mainly shown when he becomes less human and dependent on his family instead of his family being dependent of him. In the beginning he is the one that is supporting the family and works hard everyday to provide, but towards he end he goes threw a mental imbalance that make him incapable of working forcing that family to start caring and working for themselves. Gregor is less human like because he becomes unable to help himself making him depart farther and farther away from the human society. â€Å"The rotten apple in his back and the inflamed area around it, which where completely covered with fluffy dust, already hardly bothered him† (1188). Through this quote we see that the longer he begins to think that he is a bug the less he is caring about his well being. It no longer bothers him that he is dirty and that it begins to seem normal to him. This shows how farther away he is drifting from the human society, because like a normal human he would not like to be dirty if he knew that he could do something about it. He no longer sees what he needs or wants, as well as what is good for him. He just exists in his own mind as a bug that is just there.Gregors distancing from his family made him a bit less human since he did not want to interact with them.In conclusion from the beginning of the book towards the ends Gregors metamorphosis has been a symbol of how Gregor has become distant from the human society and how he has become less human himself. Like in the begging of the book he was a person concerned with the welfare of others and worked hard to help them. But towards the end he became a bit retarded by believing that he was a bug and started to accept his surrounding and start acting like one. He became less concerned with his well being and that of those around him, but j ust did not care any more, just wanted to do nothing. He was not concerned with what he could do to help himself but just be there. The more Gregor went through his metamorphosis the less human like he became. Thus separating him from the rest of the human society and, causing him no to want to interact with his family as well as anyone else that he came in contact with, which caused his ultimate demise.